Good

Regret.

I try to avoid it.
I try living every day and giving it my all.
I try to make good choices.

But my biggest regret is not from what I did,
Or from a chance I didn't take,
It's from words I didn't say.

It's from saying casual greetings,
Quick jokes and academic banter,
But never digging deeper.
Always superficial.

But it seemed normal to live like this.
After all, we do live in a very superficial world.
And it seemed unimportant
To consciously make conversation instead of looking at my phone.

Truth is I couldn't have known.
Very few ever know what goes on behind the surface of someone.
Especially when you don't ask.

Especially when society trains you to look down,
mind your business,
and talk about the weather.

Especially because in our hands we hold a world of social engagements,
Where people always are interested in us.
Yet none of them are intimate.
None of them are enough.
None of them matter.

So I have a regret.
I regret not being present enough.
I regret not asking "Are you okay?" "Want to get a coffee?" "Can I pray for you?"

I regret not being intuitive enough.
I regret sitting next to someone for a year
and never having the slightest inclination that things were not okay.

I regret thinking that I am a people person,
An intuitive person,
A sensitive person,
Yet never asking, "Are you okay?"

There are a few things that I do not regret though.
I don't regret asking about your weekend,
Or joking about what was going on in class.

I don't regret always being a smiling face,
Being helpful with assignments,
Or talking about our siblings.

It's amazing how you never know the effect of what you contribute,
Not necessarily until it's too late-
Sometimes not ever.

And that's fine.

It's okay to have regrets,
We all do.
It does no good to toil over them,
Might as well be at peace.

But you can learn from regrets.
I'd argue that you should.
I'd say that you can regret making a mistake or not saying something
But if you continuously have the same regret, you might want to introspect.

That's why now, more than ever, I choose to live in kindness.
I understand that regrets are not always big, flashy moments,
Dramatic split paths or times where your stomach is knotted and you feel anxiety building.
Regrets can sometimes be neglecting to smile,
Neglecting to look up,
And neglecting to open up.

We all contribute something to this world
We can harm it, exist in it, or put goodness into it.

Never underestimate the value of a handshake,
The beauty in a hug,
Or the compassion in a conversation.

Whatever you give to this world,
Make it be good.