Apology to My Body

Sorry for despising you.

Sorry for not valuing you.
Sorry for basing your value on comments and passing glances from others.
Sorry for wanting to change you completely.

I'm sorry for starving you in adolescence.
For thinking that half a pouch of oatmeal was a meal.
And all the while looking at the girl in the mirror, getting smaller by the day, and loathing every inch.
Sorry for counting calories more than I counted my blessings.

Sorry for throwing away my lunches.
For forgetting what a privilege a full meal is.
Sorry for believing those girls who whispered cruel remarks about my figure
And sorry for letting those moments define so many of my years.

Sorry for not listening to you.
For ignoring those bags under my eyes and my weary muscles.
For thinking it was lyme, mono - when the real culpret was me,
Because I was too invested in those I love to properly love myself.

Sorry for not appreciating you.
For forgetting that my body is my temple and just a temporary skin,
For forgetting the image in which I'm made,
And for forgetting to value the DNA that made me.

Sorry for forgetting you.
For forgetting that my eyes are my grandmother's,
My nose is my aunt's, and my face is my father's.
Sorry for forgetting the lineage and the stories that made my body.

Sorry for forgetting my legacy.
My value.
And my purpose.
Sorry for forgetting that my mission is not to turn heads, define obliques, or allure shallow men.
Rather, my mission is to love.

I'm sorry for forgetting to love myself.